Fanfiction
by DoubleEdgedSword99
Summary: It's simply another early morning in Matt and Mello's apartment, untill Matt discovers a horrible fanfiction site! In Mello's opinion, nothing is worse than rabid yaoi fangirls. Well... He's about to be proven wrong. This is is a tale too complex for a one-shot... T for shonen-ai and Mello's mouth. DISCONTINUED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.
1. An Infamous, Sour Citrus

AN: Thank you for reading! Since it's crack-ish, Mello, Matt, Near, and anyother DN characters will probably be OOC. Just to let you know. This, despite it's air of finality, will have many sequels, so be on the look out. Review if you're nice!

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, the characters, site, and if there is an actual fanfiction by the title I will mention, I do not own that.

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><p>"Chapter One: An Infamous, Sour Citrus"<p>

March 27, 2013

7:03 a.m

Los Angeles, CA.

The morning was perfectly normal- despite the season, Los Angeles's trademark, smoggy air was still as warm as ever at 62 degrees. Despite the less-than-chilly weather, the spoiled city folk shivered at the slightest cold breeze, many wearing hats or light scarves. Most of them passed a shady looking apartment without a second thought (or glance), unaware of the two popular inhabitants it sheltered, the chaos brewing to a breaking point inside, or the changes in three lifestyles that would occur...Soon enough.

"Alright, Matt, I'm going out, okay?" Mello called into his friend's ear, getting ready to leave said shady, but cheap apartment he and his best friend now inhabited, and although Mello was practically screaming right into his ear canal, Matt still didn't flinch, just nodded vaugly and replied with an appropriate response-"Mmmm...hm."

But it was understandable. Matt was on the internet, and that was almost (not quite) worse than it was when he was playing video games. Mello's eyes flicked up to what his room-mate was googling-"Death Note."

Mello scoffed-the whole Kira Case was top-secret, there was no way Matt would find anything related to the super-natural killing notebook. He pulled on his boots with difficulty, wondering why Matt even bothered- but Mello supposed he had no way of stopping Matt from searching strange, unknown things- just the other day Matt had googled himself, without much success.

He was halfway to the door, still slightly disgruntled about being ignored on his way out, when Matt let out a yell of bone-chilling, complete and utter terror. Mello dashed back to his best friend's side to see what the hell he had found-never mind if he was okay- wondering if it were possible for someone to have leaked information-that Matsuda guy, maybe if he was drinking again, that last time with the hobo on the corner had been close, but even that had been pretty derastic...

Mello's question as to what was terrorizing Matt was quickly answered by simply looking at the title of the link that Matt had, apparently, gleefully clicked on.

"Matt x Mello, intense lemon!" it read, and Mello, blessedly innocent, scrolled down to find out what it was and to read it, still half in shock-still wondering 'who had leaked the case? How could anyone have found out about any of this? And most importantly, why the hell am I paired with MATT, of all people involved in this whole thing...?'

It wasn't long before Mello was screaming right along side Matt.

"Who...would write such a thing?" he whisper-yelled, terrified of the answer. Matt, beside him on the floor, was shaking. His mind was bleeding, he was trying to shove the words that had burned themselves into his eyes to a far-off corner of his mind where he wouldn't venture, his brilliant mind was scarred-more than it had already been, of course...

"...You okay, Matt?" Mello asked with extreme difficulty -having just reading a scarily detailed story about him and his best-friend/best lackey...doing THINGS that he hadn't even heard about in the Mofia, it was very hard to look at him, let alone talk to him.

It took Mello a few more seconds to realize...that Matt was laughing. Hysterically. And silently.

"Y-you...You sicko!" he bellowed, jumping up from his spot on the floor beside his desk, glaring at the still laughing Matt, who got up with difficulty and sat down heavily on the desk chair.

"Sorry, Mels, but it's just so absurd...! Why do people assume...We're gay...When you said you just apologized... because you thought I got killed... because of you...?" he got out, still snorting, then he seemed to be struck with a brilliant idea, because he sat bolt upright, stopped chortling, and a mischeivious smile lit his slightly boyish face.

"Hey Mello... let's look up some Mello and Near fanart!"

It took a while for all of Matt's bruises to disappear.

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><p><strong>To be continued in "Fanfiction" chapter two- 'Doujinshi part one'!<strong>

**Coming soon!**


	2. Doujinshi, prelude to part one

AN: Hello again! I actually typed this up a month ago, and I'm not tired anymore, so. Here it is! The probably not-awaited second chapter in the epic tale, "Fanfiction." Enjoy, review, the whole package...?

P.S. This, as the title name says, is a sort of a prelude to the first part of the actual "Doujinshi" segment. It's basically Mello dealing with the shock.

P.P.S. I am straight, however, I do not have any problem whatsoever with people who are otherwise. My friend's thought I should add this so I don't get sued. Go figure...*Sigh*

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, or anything else in this fanfiction- which includes Hot Topic and Starbucks. And fangirls. Thank GOD I don't own the fangirls. XD

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><p>"Fanfiction Chapter Two: Doujinshi (prelude to part one)"<p>

Mello had argued with himself all day long. He did NOT, he repeated to himself, NOT (NO NO NO NEVER EVER) want to see a kinky doujinshi of himself and Near. He did work with the emotionless little git now that they (rightfully) shared the title of L, but that definetly did NOT mean he could stand him any more than he used to. He just had a higher level of self-control when it came to the big-headed twit now that he had matured a bit.

And so what if he was a little curious? Mello was 22 and had only frenched a girl. On a bet. But then again, he was above every girl he met in intelligence and looks, so why would he waste his first time on an unworthy specimen?

(Let's just face it. While Mello was very "beast" to quote himself, he was shy around girls. Painfully shy. His few -but very memorable- times in bars consisted of second hand pick-up lines, and numerous beers getting dumped on him after Matt would, of course, show up, sling his arm around Mello, and say something along the lines of "C'mon, honey, let's go home to the kids!")

On his motercycle, in Hot Topic, Starbucks...He muttered darkly in the vauge direction of the girls (and, humiliatingly enough, several fanboys) who would either squeal, faint, or pinch themselves when they saw him. Mello had always thought it was simply because he was that hot, but now, of course, he knew better.

He knew that he was in a twelve-book manga epic, two-season anime series, and was splattered across the globe in forms of wall scrolls, fanfictions/fanart, buttons, mugs, t-shirts, you name it...

...And it was humilliating.

He had, as a precaution, looked up a mixture of himself and Near, Matt, Takeda, Halle, reader inserts, and various OC fanfictions. He was repulsed to find that many authors seemed to think he was...dare he, a man of great pride in his normal sexuality, say it...? They thought he was...gay!

And Near had known about it all along. Mello had raced into the L headquarters earlier that day, babbling inchoherently about his first unfortunate brush with the sour, infamous citrus, expecting Near to actually show some emotion at this shocking outbreak of news...But Near had simply sighed, and gave Mello a look that clearly said _'What, you didn't know...?,'_ all the while twirling a lock of his irritatingly perfect, soft-looking hair around his index finger.

And to make matters worse, they killed him off in episode 35! As if! Hadn't the producer imbeciles ever heard of fire-precaution? Fire extinguishers? Hydrants? They should've known better than to think he, Mihael Keehl, would be defeated by a simple HOUSE FIRE!

By the end of the day, Mello's initial mingled feelings of shock and horror had almost reached raving hysteria.

Dinner was a quiet, strained ordeal that night. Matt kept snickering in an akward manner, and Mello kept his eyes fixed on a non-offensive spot on the slightly filthy walls. The friends finished quickly, and Mello went to bed early as Matt started in on his round of washing the chipped, yet soon-to-be sparkling dishes.

Although Mello had tossed and turned, played dead as long as he could, twiched at the slightest discomfort, gone to the bathroom six times, drank three and a half glasses of water, and even broken out one of his emergency, secret chocolate bars (cursing violently when he realized that he would have to brush his teeth again- after the Kira Case his life had turned for the slightly more domestic- or at least more controlled), and he still couldn't fall asleep.

Finally, after much consideration and inner-cringing, Mello had reached a compromise. He decided that tomorrow, he would search L's old computer and find a less-than-innocent doujinshi. He was too curious about what horror some perverted fan had conncoted for him- he was, after all, morbidly facinated by the whole ordeal.

And after all, L had taught him that research was a detective's first step in solving a henious crime, hadn't he?

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><p><strong>" 'Fanfiction' Chapter Three: Doujinshi (part Two)"<strong>

**Coming soon to !**


	3. Doujinshi, the true part one

AN: Hello. I'm finally getting a move-on in this chapter! Which makes me happy. I've decided that the eventual pairing as being Mello x...Wait a second, don't you want it to be a suprise? It should be fairly obvious, however. Mello will either end up with Matt or Near. In any case, I'll cease my ramblings and present chapter three! ^^;;

P.S. This chapter will have a smaller amount of humour (that's what I meant by crack-ISH) but by the end of the chapter things should be back to normal. Review to make me happy!

P.P.S. Speaking of reviews...thank you to KoPandaXXX for reviewing! It was my first review ever; I was so happy my cat thought I was insane...She still hasn't come out from under the bed yet...And I think I fixed the spelling mistake, thank you so much for letting me know.

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><p>March 28, 2013<p>

7:19 a.m

Los Angeles, CA

Mello opened the door to "his" headquarters soundlessly, security running smoothly. The only thing that greeted him was the soft humming of computers, and whirring of security moniters. The place was...deserted.

Mello added his soft footsteps to the quiet symphony of isolation. Although he was glad to be alone, without Near (or anyone, for that matter, besides himself) there the place seemed...kinda creepy. God damn it, if it meant he was alone in a dark place, he could almost begin to miss the albino's less-than-satisfactory company...

He snarled slightly at the thought, then called out, "Gevanni? Halle? Matsuda? Near?"

Silence greeted his words, and he let them fade into the darkness. His spine tingled in an uncomfortable, cliche way, and he chanced a step forward. His eyes darted around the room, looking for some sign of some other person in the vicinity- ever since the "truck-catching-on-fire/Sidoh-not-doing-his-damn-job/having-to-blow-himself-up" episodes (no pun intended) he had become extremely paranoid.

"..." He slowly reached the old computer, and was about to turn it on and sit down heavily, when a quiet, yet unignorable voice reached his ears- the word trickled into his brain like water, coolly and smoothly, but it made him shiver with both disgust- and something else.

"...Mello." It was undeniably Near-Nate River- Mello's arch-rival.

"...Near... Why is it that no one else's here? What's going on?" Near took a step, then two steps closer to Mello from where he was standing in the shadowy doorway, and Mello had a strange feeling that he had been there for a while. "Y'know, as we're both L, you should tell me if you're making a change in the way thing run around here, I mean, employment and stuff..." The words tumbled out as Mello rambled on, more panic settling landing lightly in the pit of his stomache as Near padded slowly closer.

"I arranged things this way only for today. There was no time to consult you prior to this decision." Near said it flatly, as usual, but didn't stop his becoming-a-little-too-close approach to the blonde. Mello's eyes were locked on Near as he slowly came closer, as if a deer eyeing a wolf before the chase would begin. There was a perfect understanding between the hunter and its pray, so it came as no suprise, when he was close enough, that Near slid his lips over Mello's.

At first, Mello's eyes widened to the point they looked as though they might pop out of his head as Near pulled him closer, apparently taking Mello's definete lack of response as an affirmitive that this arrangement was fine.

Mello was about to push Near away violently, wipe his mouth scathingly, and dash out of the headquarters, when a snide, yet honest voice hissed in the back of his mind: ''_It's only one kiss...It doesn't mean anything...And this is what you wanted, right? Isn't that why you came here today?_

Mello, thinking that those arguements were indeed very persuasive, decided to pull Near closer around him. He decided to hit himself over the head later, but for now...why shouldn't he find out a little more?

A picture of Matt glaring at him popped into his head, but Mello pushed it aside. After all, this was just an experiment, and Matt and Mello were just friends...

The initialy gentle, chaste kiss became more and more heated as both Near and Mello submitted to the want that had long since devoured them whole. Near tasted, suprisingly, like vanilla creme soda. Wondering if the inside of his mouth had the same suprisingly adicctive tang, Mello slipped a hand underneath Near's shirt, hoping his cold hand and element of suprise would get Near to gasp, and it did.

As soon as Mello's chilled, callused hand touched Near's warm, unmarred skin, he sucked in a narrow breath, and Mello, like the expert he somehow was, snickered as he eased his tounge to meet Near's.

"Mmmm..."

The cacophany of their panting and gasps somehow provided the room with a delicious haze.

Breaking away, Mello led Near to a bare table that was usually stacked woth Near's toys and various items. They hastilly unbottened each others shirts, and Near let out a gasp as Mello nipped and sucked at his white, bare chest, while Mello's hands began to work elsewhe-

_**WHAM!**_

Mello snapped L's old lap top shut as his heart raced, mind reeling with the images he had just seen on YouTube.

So that was yaoi doujinshi...

His body was burning up, and he was sure his face was flushed at least a watery strawberry color. He needed water-no, fifty showers to feel clean again- no, something else...

At the thought of what the full-length comic would be, his body reached a fever pitch, and he shivered. He was about to chance another, morbidly facinated glance at the forbidden video when the door behind him opened. Mello's head shot up and backwards to see the newcomer, as did his hand, retreating as if he'd been bitten by a snarling mutt with an unfortunate case of rabies.

Realizing who it was did not in any way help his current situation. It was, of course, Near.

"...Mello." Near said it, he dared say it in the same way as he did in that...that..cursed spawn of the Satan! And he went so far as to look into Mello's paniced, half-wild eyes as he did so. Near's own, dark vortex's narrowed in confusuion as Mello's already over-large eyes bulged.

Mello leapt up as if he had sat on a thumb-tack and, with a retreating "Bathroom!" flung at Near as an excuse, he raced down the hall to the appropriate location. He locked the door behind him, waiting untill his heart had stopped hyperventillating to suck in a much-needed breath.

That was...terrifying... And the manga-ka...She captured them perfectly, almost as if Linda had drawn it, bringing their images onto the page from memory, distorting their actions untill she got what she wanted- a kinky, forrbiden, disgusting, tabooed, horrible, spine-being-ran-over-by-shivers work of the devil... Yes, at least now he knew what he was up against in his fight against all things fan-made towards himself...

Breathing more evenly now, he chuckled slightly at his paniced antics. He probably seemed like a maniac! How could people even imagine that that could've happened! It never did, never would! It was disgusting!

_But you were curious...And you have to admit, it gave you some small pleasure to see Near as an adorable,panting uke..._

Oh dear Lord. Now the snide voice was out of the computer and into his head.

It sounded a bit too much like Light Yagami's.

And now Mello was becoming skitzophrenic! He was insane! His image would be ruined! His karma was coming back to kill him!

_Aren't you...Forgetting something...?_ The snide voicce reminded him, interrupting his self dooms-day message, and Mello, out of habbit, thought hard about his actions.

Nope. Nothing... He couldn't believe he was answering The Voice. He shook his head to clear it-before he jolted upwards,unlocked the door, threw it open, and flew back down the hall, back into the room, and towards Near, who was opening the sacred lap top, his heart racing again, faster (if possible) this time, because...

...in his horror, Mello had forgotten to close down the link...

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><p>Re AN: So? So? What'd you think? I was so nervous- I've never done a scene like that...*pant* *pant* *pant* ...And it was with Near and Mello, too... I was shaking as I typed it- thankfully I had help, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to get it done...<p>

I can't believe I'm maybe dragging light into this...that was unexpected...

Lemme know if you want one like that with Mello and Matt...I'll fit that in in the next chapter...I think...If Mello doesn't get arrested for plotting child molestation...(is that even a word? 'Molestation'...)

And...who do you think our dear blondie should end up with?

As always, thank you for reading!

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><p><strong>Chapter Four- Doujinshi Part Two-<strong>

**Coming soon to my computer!**


	4. Doujinshi, part two

AN: Hello! **This is important: Since there won't be much Matt x Mello action untill the end (which does NOT mean they get together) I'm creating two seperate storylines. Basically, Mello's experiances will be different (like instead of a Near doujinshi, he'll come across a Matt one), but the ending will be the same. You can pick and stick with one or the other, or read them both, but Option One will be for Near, and Option Two will be for Matt. I'll start the Matt bit after this chapter, since I left on a cliff hanger. All clear? Lemme know if something's confusing. Thanks!**

P.S. Thank you to Vampireninjagirl15, Treble Twenty, and BloodiedTears35 for reviewing! You guys rock! And thank you to everyone who put me on Author/Story/Whatever alert or Favorites. Thank you all! This chapter is dedicated to you(I'll dedicate the next chapter to you, KoPandaXXX, and anyone else who reviews.)!

Mello would never get there in time. Although he was fast, there was no way that by running he could shut the laptop in time for Near not to see the doujinshi he had summoned from YouTube's Hell-ish archieves. He was doomed!

_That should've been obvious from the start, Mello-Yellow..._

'Aren't you some, I dunno, some one- time thing? And what's with the nicknames?' Mello broadcasted in his head to The Voice, desperation and irritation making him crabbier than usual.

Mello was about half-way across the rather large room when he made one of his famous last-minute-maybe-fatal decisions. He took a deep breath, launched himself into the air, and executed a perfect swan-dive, heading straight towards Near, who was doing his impression of deer-in-headlights (which was a slight wrinkle of his white eyebrows)...!

(Blame Roger. He forced all the Wammy kids to take swimming lessons. And Mello happened to love dunking a struggling Near, or Matt- whoever was closer.)

It was beautiful. He landed right on top of the lap-top, effectivly shutting it and probably breaking it, due to the awful crunching, grinding, and snapping noises that had just interrupted it's whirring and humming.

Near slowly looked up, mild indignation (a 'what the #&*, dude?' expression, to translate) written across his face. "Um...Mello?" he whispered, and Mello slapped on an unconvincing grin.

"Hi," he stated, "I just thought you might need a break, too! Work, work, work, don't ypu need to play with your toys right now?"

Mello nodded along with every word, insane smile still on his face.

Near opened his mouth, then closed it, apparently forgetting how to speak. He opened his mouth again, and a kind of an almost inaudible, hoarse humming came out, then he shut his mouth once more. Near hesitantly raised an eyebrow.

It was too much. It was simple too much! The whole situation was rediculous! And with that thought, he started to laugh. Hysterically. Non-stop.

He giggled. Mello giggled. And snorted, chortled, howled, and finally, opening his screwed up eyes, seeing Near looking a shell-shocked as he possibly could, made him laugh even harder.

Twelve minutes later, Mello was pounding his fists weakly on the wrecked computer, giddy chuckles still audible amid gasps for breath. Near had remained frozen where he was, as if afraid Mello was going to attack him (he had just been narrowly missed by a flying, leather-clad, now hysterical 22 year old man).

"...I think we should continue tomorrow...?" Near finally said to a lightly panting, pink-faced Mello, who was just registering what he had done. The humilliation let loose another string of nervous giggles.

Near looked even more frightened, and inched away from Mello, gathering his various toys in his arms.

"Uuuum, yeah, stress, y'know...? Aha...ha...Yeah, a holliday sounds good...I'll buy another computer tomorrow," Mello got out, sliding off the almost split-in-two table, gathering the last shreds of L's historic lap-top in his arms. "And a table," he added, as it gave a threatening creak. He stumbled towards the general direction of the door, Near staring after him.

Just then, as Mello got to his only escape route, the door flew open and hit him smack-dab in the nose. Gevanni and Rester followed, exclamations and apologies streaming from their usually stiff mouths, each extending a hand to the fearsome ex-Mofia boss.

Said ex-Mofia boss ignored both hands, stood up shakily, nodded to his coulleages, and darted out of the door, before either of them could look around and begin to question him. He'd leave the answers to Near.

He decided to ignore the snickering and _Smooth, Mello-Yellow, reeeeal smooth..._from the Voice, which he would now call "I'magay," after Light Yagami.

A little later, Mello, clutching his now bleeding nose, flung open the door to his apartment down the street. He clomped into the kitchen, past Matt, who had, for once, looked up from his PSP with a smile and a, "That was fast!" and then taken his apperance with an air of great suprise. Mello was violently ripping paper-towels from the roll and stuffing them up his nose when Matt asked tentatively, "Uh...What happened?"

Mello simply growled, and, on his way to the living room, said thickly, "Research. Research is what happened."

AN: Sorry it was so short! It was all I had today, since I had very little time to write, due to family issues and stuff. There'll probably be less chapters than usual now, untill said family issues clear up.

Hope you liked it!

-DoubleEdgedSword99


	5. The Plot Thickens!

AN: Hi...Thank you guys that reviewed. You're the best! =D This chapter should make a *cough cough glare* Certain Person happy. I hope it'll make you all happy! But ya can't rush the creative process, people...As such, my overly-tired brain has made each and every character insane, or OOC. Please consider this extra cracky, and know that things will be back to normal...? This one will be rather short. But very important. I swear! And now, without further ado...

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><p>Fanfiction Chapter Five- The Plot Thickens!<p>

Same day, 7:28 a.m.

_While Mello was naming I'magay I'magay..._

Gevanni, Rester, and Near were all quietly shell-shocked. No matter the mess that Mello had left for them, it was quite unlike Mello to run anywhere, let alone while he was throwing his head back with a laugh that could've rivaled Light Yagami's. Carrying a completely demolished, and historically priceless lap-top.

Not that it hadn't happened before (Mello could be known throughout the community a "mentally...unstable"), it was another thing entirely that he was shouting something along the lines of "Shuddap, I'magay! I'm gonna kill you when I get inside my head!". In public, anyways.

"Uuum, Near...?" Gevanni asked hesitantly, more of a comfirmation that he, at least, had retained a small degree of sanity. Unlikely as it was.

"Yes, Gevanni?" Near deadpanned, his affirmation that he had given Gevanni his undevided attention, and Gevanni swallowed, then questioned, "Um, uh, what was that...?"

Near turned his large, dark eyes towards Gevanni. "That," Near said, with a practically non-existant note of humor injected in his tone, before he heaved a heavy sigh, "was Mello finally admitting to himself that he is skitzophrenic. Insane. His karma's coming back to kill him."

Rester didn't say anything, just sort of grunted and shifted slightly. Gevanni wondered if Near saw the floating, cackling, red-tinted-potatoe-chip-eating clown following Mello, too, and, considering it unlikely, decided not to mention it.

"Now then," continued Near, voice back to normal, "let's assess the damage."

While Rester and Gevanni were hard at work, Near pondered this new chain of events. What Mello didn't know is that he was shutting the lap-top (having watched the full YouTube video), not opening it, when he came sprinting back into the room. The only thing that could've compelled Mello to act so drastically, so unlike his usual bring-it-on-I-really-don't-care- no-YOUR-Mom! attitude is if he, subconciously, felt something awaken inside of him.

The only logical explanation is that something must have stirred inside of him.

Near wondered what it was. He wondered if Mello, possibly, felt something akin to the emotion he, Near, had felt coursing in him whenever he thought of the blonde for the past several years.

But, most importantly, Near wondered if Mello knew that that was Near's very own work.

"Near, we've 'assessed the damage,' " Rester grunted, nudged by Gevanni -the signal for Rester to speak- "and we the table's broken in two, and we're gonna need a new lap-top."

"And we might need a new bathroom door. Mello seems to have ripped it from its hinges," Gevanni cut in.

Near nodded quickly, delicious thought process interupted. He wished he hadn't nodded so violently- it made his already over-tired brain hurt.

It was funny that Near could watch two-dozen cameras at once and not get confused- but that the matter of love turned his head inside-out and up-side down.

"Alright then. Gevanni, please purchase us a new computer. Whatever funds you shall need," he gestered to a steel safe, "are there for your choosing. The combination is-" he whispered a complex, five minute long combination to Gevanni, who nodded.

"And Rester, please find a new table in that allyway and lug it back here. And about the door," he added, "don't bother. You two are the only ones among us who still might need to carry out bodily functions."

When both men had left the building, Near slid to the floor and began arranging his dominos.

"Now that Mello's a bit more...aware of his situations..." Near said out loud, adressing the final domino, "perhaps the real battle of passion for Mello between Matt and I can comense."

And with that, he nudged the last domino and watched as they all tumbled downwards, just as he had predicted.

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><p>AN: Eek! Creepy Near! Anyway, I do have college to attend tomorrow, guys, so...BUT I'll be back after 6:00, so do not fret! I think. I hope. Thank you again for your support andor reviews and good night! :)


	6. Notice!

**Eeek! I'm so sorry! I realized that I would, in fact, fit in Matt x Mello action in my original storline, after all, and I was proof-reading when it hit me that I did NOT delete the part about the second storyline. Ooooh my Kira I'm such a klutz sometimes...*Hangs head in shame* So, to make things clear (again...) everything will simply carry on as usual. **

**Once again, my apologies!**

**-DoubleEdgedSword99**


	7. A Shadow Kiss

AN: Hi! I'm sorry I haven't updated in forever(a week, counting today...) but life's hectic, what with trying to find a spare moment to breath...Anyway. This chapter is, once again, dedicated to ...

-KoPandaXXX

- 13eyondDeathday-chan

-xKirey

- NekoMataDemon

- Darkemi

-494dwangle

for reviewing (signed and annonymously) all of my stuff...

- Moonphase 9

for the PM, and...

-SoraForever- I'm finally able to thank you for subscribing!

and, of course, the rest of you awesome readers. It means a lot!

P.S. This chapter will have the first bit of Matt/Mello-ness, which'll probably make some of you guys say ''Finally!" It made me say that, too...XD

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><p>March 27, 2013<p>

7:58 p.m

Los Angeles

Matt eyed Mello's morose figure with a slight frown. It wasn't like his friend to be so quiet- or so sulky. Mello was never so calm (in a sense) when he was puzzled or upset by something. But tonight, he was silent.

Silent except for just now, because now he snarled suddenly and quietly said something about "Would you be quiet, I'magay? I'm trying to think!"

Matt decided to pretend he had not, in fact, heard Mello talking to his most recent imaginary friend (who apparently shared some characteristics with Light Yagami...), and simply went back to playing Zelda at Mello's feet.

Although a few seconds later, it was impossible to ignore the fact that Mello had gotten up and slammed the bathroom door behind him. And decided to bang his head against the wall.

Repeatedly.

**Bang. Bang. Bang. Bangbangbangbang!**

Matt scowled. He had no idea what was eating at Mello- after he had told Matt that "research had happened," he had turned the computer on, logged on to YouTube, shooed Matt away, and locked himself up in their bedroom(which was quite unfair, in Matt's opinion, seeing as all of his games were in a now tabbo place).

Although he did know it had something to do with Near- why else would he come back so early, so flustered, and with a bloody nose?- and that upset Matt even more.

He snarled and slashed praticularly viciously at a bokaboblin.

He also did not look up and inquire to the fact that Mello was now slightly cross-eyed, muttering, "Damn it...it didn't work!"

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><p>March 27, 2013<p>

8:33 p.m.

Los Angeles

"Hey, Matt, I'm starrrrr-ving..."

By this time, Matt's anger(and, though he hated to admit it, jealousy) had disapated, and he smiled at the pouting blonde and wandered into the kitchen.

The fridge was empty. The pantries were empty. This...was a problem. Because a hungry, previously humiliated Mello was a scary one indeed. But as he stared depressedly at the shadowy mouthes of the kitchen's nooks and crannies, his face lit up with a sudden, spontanious idea.

He returned a few moments later with a bottle of champagne, and two tiny glasses. He figured that if nothing else loosened Mello's tounge, alchohol would do the trick...And if it didn't, he figured he would need some to keep from shaking Mello untill his teeth rattled to get him to open up.

But as he watched Mello grab a glass, fill it, and gulp it down hurridly, Matt began to rethink his hurried plan. Mello happened to have a very low alchohol tolerance level, and Matt had an idea of what he was "researching."

If Mello happened to hint at "elabortating and demonstrating," Matt didn't think he'd be able to controll himself.

And even if he didn't hint, Mello would wake up with a splitting headache tomorrow. And a Mello with a headache was a scary one indeed.

Around Mello's fourth glass, he had loosened up considerably, and Matt chanced a touch on that morning.

"So...what happened this morning? Besides 'research,' I mean," Matt asked, his chin resting on his hands, and Mello huffed, his eyes slightly unfoucused.

"Weell, I got into another one of those fist-fights with Aiza-_hic_-wa..." Mello got out while simultaniously gulping down another glass.

At this, Matt's eyebrows shot upwards. He hadn't expected a cover story...Or maybe it really was nothing...

"Really? Who won?"

As Mello continued to give him a blow-by-blow (literally) of the "fight" (really, the only fight he had had was with a table and a floating voice), Matt sighed again and just soaked in the sight of his best friend.

Matt had to admit that, though he was swaying slightly, his room-mate was still that charismatic kind of beautiful- the kind that would never get monotonous to look at, the kind that would attract both ladies and gentlemen, the kind that had drawn a helpless Matt in...

He shook his head hurridly to get rid of thought that would not aid him in his plan of getting Mello to spill whatever had happened, and downed his first round.

* * *

><p>"So, this chick is like, totally-<em>hic-<em> checking me out, y'know? And I'm like, 'Yer not so bad yerself, hon!' " Mello slurred a few minutes later, and Matt cringed slightly.

Although he knew it hadn't happened, he wanted to throw something at the imaginary girl that had threatened to deflower his Mello.

Plus, he was slightly disturbed at the fact that that was the best pick-up line Mello could think of, even at a second's notice and full of alchohol.

"But, hey, nothing happened. Cuz then I thought, 'But Matt's cuter!' So..."

Matt stiffened and looked up quickly. Mello was grinning boorishly at him.

Matt couldn't quite stop the smirk that was lighting up his own features- although he knew it was the alchohol talking to him instead of his best friend, it didn't stop the glowing feeling that spread from his core outwards.

Mello was just drawing another breath and pouring himself another glass of champagne (more like giving the table a bath- only a fraction of a percent of the golden liquid made it in- would the bottle never end?) when he slid sideways and started snoring.

Matt blankly stared at the spot Mello had been a few minutes ago.

Before he got up silently and retrieved a blanket from their room, spreading it over Mello as he continued his abrupt (but not very unexpected) slumber.

Matt was about to pour Mello a glass of water (for when he would inevitably wake up and feel as though he had been hit with a hammer in various places), when Mello stirred slightly and muttered something in his sleep that sounded suspiciously like, "...Doujinshi...happened..."

Matt smirked wider -he knew it!- before stooping at eye level with his deeply unconcious friend. Before he could loose his nerve, he ghosted his lips over Mello's in a shadow kiss.

Mello didn't even stirr.

"Sleep well, Mels..."

And, depositing three Advils and a half-full glass of water for Mello's benifit, he changed, slipped in bed, and attempted to fall asleep...Which proved impossible when his mind, lips, and heart were tingling.

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><p>AN: and that's how things really begin! *Dun dun duuun* Over the weekend I should be able to update more, but no promises...*sob* Review if ya want things to keep going like this!<p>

Thank you for reading!


	8. The Inquiry, Part One

AN: Yes, can it be? An update! Uuugh, I know I'm taking forever, but, to make a very long story very short, my computer wouldn't let me update my documents! At all! So after I stopped freaking out, I had to convert all of my documents to a different setting thingy, and then I had to charge my laptop (which had a virus for ther remainder of the time that I wan't flipping out) and so now here I am! Finally! But strap yourself in for some angst...(I'm sick again, which means I'll have more work than usual when I'm better, but on the plus side, I'll have more writing time 'till then...!)

P.S. Dedicated to: PainLastsForever for adding my story "Bittrsweet Tribute" to favorites, PenguinX-chan for...doing everything?(You make me so happy! 8D) Rayralo for adding me to story alerts, and KoPandaXXX (as always) for reviewing me and being her awesome self, as well as an anonymous reviewer Who Do You Think Knock-Out...Thank you all so much! I have 5 sticky notes on my desktop reminding me to thank you guy, and others. And, of course, thank you to everyone who reads anything of mine! You people make me ridiculously happy, ya know?

Please excuse any typo's in this chapter- I don't have spell check, and suck at spelling as is...XD

And so, without further ado, here is chapter (...wow, 8 already?) eight, The Inquirey, Part one!

P.P.S. I just realized that I should start adding disclaimers, huh...? Anyway, I don't own Death Note or any of the characters. And this is copyrighted, by the way, so...Don't steal it! (Hiss- sorry, I'm on the point of delerium here...XD)

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><p>March 29, 2013<p>

9:33 a.m

Los Angeles

"Mello. Thank you for coming."

Mello cringed inwardly. Near was, as usual, serious, but he had a warmer edge to himself now. Near was...being human.

(For instance, Mello could've sworn he saw him smile today. And it wasn't even his creepy-smile-of-doom. It was a real SMILE! He supposed it would make a nice change if he ever got used to it, but right now it was just plain weird.)

Near had also given Mello the day off yesterday- willingly, in fact. As soon as he had seen Mello clutching his head in a resigned sort of misery, he had sighed and shut the door (quietly) in his face.

(Mello had decided to simply go along with whatever that day- his head had been in severe agony, and I'magay- who was apparently immune to hangovers- wasn't helping. In fact, I'magay had made things considerably worse. He sang "Poker Face" constantly in a very loud, obnoxious, intentionally off-key voice just to jarr Mello into ultimate suffering.)

So Mello (and all of the things in his head) had trugeded wearily (or, in I'magay's case, grudgingly- it wasn't as if It had any chioce) yet slightly gratefully back to their apartment, and collapsed yet again on the couch he had just woken up on.

Although things were far from comfortable in Mello's "home life." Matt rarely emerged from the bedroom, and slept on the couch. Mello could probably count on both of his hands the number of words Matt had said to him after that one day.

And the scary thing is, Mello couldn't remember _why_. All that he knew was that he had probably driven a horrible wedge between himself and his only, best friend.

Although he felt pathetic, Mello had resigned himself to the fact that he felt an unfamiliar prickling behind his eyes whenever he thought if Matt's now miserable smile- the one Matt would shoot him whenever Mello would attempt to question him, before scurrying away. It felt as if everything was changing, and if there was one thing Mello really hated (besides loosing), it would have to be negative, abrupt change.

Yes, Mello's life was depressing at the moment, to say the least.

And now he had his biggest, most bitter rival greeting him in a slightly luke-warm, but still cordial, way. The irony almost made him laugh- but he Mello figured that that wouldn't be appreciated, due to the fact that he had melted down in a similar manner a few days prior.

So Mello simply nodded, and strode across the room to one of the new computers that had been bought, ignoring the bathroom door, which creaked half-heartedly from where it swayed, almost in two. He also decided to ignore the pinch of guilt that pierced him as he passed Rester, Matsuda, Aizawa, Ide, and Gevanni, who were swaying slightly in their seats- not from exhaustion, but from a bladder almost packed to the breaking point.

Behind him, Near cleared his throat in an attempted casual way, but just sounded as if he was in pain. Mello did not acknowledge this, but sat down heavily and turned the New Computer on, cracked his knuckles, and started typing away furiously.

(Gevanni looked from one to the other trying to figure out what happened to the usual "Shut the - up, Near," and shrugged. Rester just blinked, and continued to hunt-and-peck veeeery slowly. Aizawa was too busy perfecting his freshly grown afro, and Ide and Matsuda were, as usual, oblivious.)

Near suppressed the urge to roll his eyes, got up from his cramp-worthy position on the floor, and gingerly followed Mello's footsteps across the room. Leaning over his shoulder, he began again.

"Mello, I was wondering if you and I could have a little chat about the 27th. Is that all right with you?"

Mello shuddered inwardly again, then forced himself to reply in a polite tone.

"Of course not, Near. What is it?"

By this point, even Rester was looking traumatized.

(They both eventually assumed that that crazy old guy was right- December 21 really had been the end of the world as they knew it- apparently, the apaocalypse had hit them full force starting today.)

Near shot his two minions The Look, and they instantaniously got up and shuffled out the door. Matsuda squeaked, then quickly followed them. Ide and Aizawa stubbornly refused to be obidient, but cleared out when The Look intensified.

Near sat down on Gevanni's vacated seat. Now it was Mello's turn to shift slightly.

"So, Mello...Let's begin at the point in which you started abusing L's legendary laptop. Why would you do somthing like that?"

Mello opened his mouth to leap into damage controll, but Near glared at him, and he stayed silent.

"Using my deductive skills, I figured it must have been extremely important and/or dangerous for you to slam shut your idol's possesion so carelessly. Naturally, as your buisness partner, I had a right to know what exactly it was. So, while you were in the bathroom, I decided to find out."

Mello's jaw dropped in mingled horror and indignation. He hadn't treated L's possesion carelessly! He just had to make a sacrifice for justice! He had been following L's teachings to a "T" (T really had been a kiss-up, sissy of a Whammy kid)!

Not to mention that now he knew that his privacy had been violated in every way possible!

But Near continued, cutting him off mid-gasp.

"And so I arrive at my first question: Why exactly were you looking up a sappy, explicit yaoi doujinshi of you and your bitterest rival?"

Mello now knew his life was over.

"Uuum..."

Near raised a single eyebrow, an impressive skill Mello had never been able to master. Apparently, 'uuum' was an appropriate answer, because Near continued.

"Mello...I think something changed the very day you came running to me, screaming about a "lemon." Is it possible...that I began to attract you?"

And now Mello was completely in shock, denial- and utterly pissed off.

And, as Near knew all to well, an uncomftorable, shocked, indignant, horrified, furious Mello was a scary Mello indeed.

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><p>AN: Oh, don't you just hate me? But! No need to sharpen your knifes or get out your guns, I have the next chapter half-way done (I think), so it's all good... By the way, did anybody recognize that Matt said a similar thing to the last line? I had to put that symbolism in there, sorry...<p>

Thank you for reading! I hope you read, enjoyed, reviewed- the whole shebang! (Oh no, I sound like my crazed aunt...)

See you all on the next update~!


	9. The Inquirey, Part Two

**AN: Wow. You guys are so awesome! I have over a page of reviews! Thank you! **

**Especially to: KoPandaXXX (thank you so much for reviewing! It means a lot! And thanks for your review of "Famous Last Words..." I cried while writing it, actually- I feel like an idiot saying it, but it's true...I'm glad you liked the ending of chapter 8 as much as I did! XD), PainLasts4ever (I think I got your username wrong the first time, and if I did, I'm really sorry! ;_; I feel bad for Near, too...Lots of Near-bashing has been going on, and I might change that later...probably not...XD), PenguinX-chan (Don't worry, I'm not dead! Yet...XD Yeah, I'm definetly planning on finishing the fic, even if it kills me- and it might, the way things are going...Your review made me laugh- I'm happy you've been checking, although not about the delay in posting stuff), lolgreeness (I'm glad it made you laugh! It's weird, I didn't even know my own story's ID number...Although isn't it's creepy that that was my lucky number before I published this...?), Ironicsheep (I'm glad you like what I'm doing, I like it too and am going to keep doing it! XD), and Suzuri (thanks for adding this to story alert subscription! Yay; you make me so happy...:D)**

**I'm back to updating things normally, now that I'm pretty sure I've got everything (*coughcough* the little glitch that wouldn't let me update anything- ANYTHING at alllllll) under control (I just changed the formatt of my documents- I'm saving up for microsoft word later- from RTF to open text. Weird, but as I'm the definition of tech-ignorant, I feel oddly proud of myself! ^^''). Although I'm not going to rush things, so the periods of times between updates are gonna be varied, although never so late as that last one. Anyway, please strap yourselves in for angst (yes, more angst), and enjoy the latest installment!**

**Disclaimer: FAN~fiction. I'm a FAN~girl. 'Nuff said, right?**

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><p>"What...the...#$% are you SAYING, Near?"<p>

Mello all but shrieked it, finally shattering the composure he had carefully constructed. He leapt up from his chair and kicked it, sending it flying across the room as if it had done him a personal offense. With a snarl, he rounded on Near, who looked back at him cooly. Mello, not being able to stand his indifference, he turned back around and began pacing, fury radiating from his body like garlic leaking from his pores.

Behind them, the chair hit a laptop and they toppled to earth together.

The two men ignored it.

Near blinked and tuned out Mello's profanity, not suprised or in any way disturbed by Mello's sudden outburst. Provocation was one of his strong suits, after all, and he had known Mello for so long that he recognized a needle to poke him with when he saw one.

"Simply making an inquirey, Mello...It's standard procedure."

"Oh, yeah, riiiight! Standard procedure my ass-like this is normal! You've violated my privac-"

"You never answered my question. Are you attracted to me, " Near said calmly, but it could take a less-skilled observer than Mello to see that he was slightly impatient, "or not?"

Mello's arms dropped to his sides, but the fury in his voice and air didn't dial down one single notch.

"Of course not, Near. That's idiotic. First, we're both guys..."

Near opened his mouth and Mello's smoldering, hostile voice cut off as he closed his mouth with a tight, snarky _snap_.

"That didn't stop you from looking up that doujinshi," Near countered, and Mello became animated once more, if only to hide the sudden burning in his face as he remembered that nightmere during his waking hours.

"Yeah, cuz I wanted to know what I was up against! In the war between me and the fangirls," he hissed, as though afraid he was afraid they were tapping the conversation, "in the war against humanity and obsession!"

Near awknowledged that Mello had _truely _gone off the deep end this time, and rubbed his forehead, as if it were his temples hurting, not his heart.

"And the second reason was...?"

Mello stopped his pacing (and shuddering) and said, withcan almost invisible trace of uncertainty under his furious tone that Near couldn't catch, "There isn't one. I just..."

His voice grew so certain his words could have been stones raining down on the unfortunete as he finshed, drawing a breath.

"...Despise you, that's all."

Resisting the urge to run as fast as he possibly could, he forced himself to walk slowly and resolutly in the general direction of the door. As he turned the doorknob and strode away, he could have sworn he heard a sigh that sounded all too much like a sob.

* * *

><p>Back inside the room, Near stared at the door, stricken. It was a few seconds later that he realized he had let a tear escape his usualy emotionless eyes.<p>

_Pick yourself up, Near!_ The little voice inside him burbled (everyone has one. You don't? Get yours at Target! Just now, they're buy-one-get-one-free~!) and he responded as best he could.

The Misa Amane clone displayed a suprising amount of intellegence as she continued. _Quit wallowing! Wipe your eyes and find that drug lord!_

(Usually, Misa annoyed Near to no end. She has attempted to give him relationship advice, tried to get him to throw away-or "donate"- his toys, and other maddness. But now, Near didn't think she was quite so bad...)

Wiping at his eyes childishly, Near drew a shaky breath and tremulously attempted to arrange himself into a normal position. All the same, when the rest of his team trooped in, looking concerned, Near kept his back to them, and simply motioned to their computers.

"Hey!" Matsuda cried in suprise, "What happened to my computer?"

"Mello," Near said, a hint of amusement bleeding colors on his voice, "is what happened."

And as the team stared in shock as Near began to laugh.

Ignoring the break in his heart, which jolted at every sound Near made.

* * *

><p><em>Y'know, alchohol doesn't effect me...<em> I'magay said smoothly, hinting at something Mello couldn't grasp.

_So?_ Mello barked at him, and I'magay chuckled.

_And unlike others I know, I don't have the memory of a goldfish...Say,if you wanted me to, I could tell you what happened, oh...several nights ago..?_

_You could? Tell me!_ Mello demanded, and I'magay voiced his evil-laughter-of-doom, which re-enforced Mello's beliefs that I'magay was, in fact, Light Yagami.

_But that'd be cheating! _I'magay scolded him, and Mello stopped his furious trek to his apartment and beat his head against a lightpost.

_Cheating? What are you talking about! _Mello screamed, and I'magay didn't reply.

Mello yanked open the door of his apartment and stomped inside, rage still boiling in the pit of his stomache.

(Which just made his stomache shrivel up more. He hadn't eaten since Matt stopped talking to him. Just chocolate- but by now he had run out, because Matt hadn't gone to the store recently- because there is no way in H-E-Double Hockey Stick that he-a former Mofia boss, gun-slinging guy with awesome hair- would be seen grocery shopping.)

Matt, hearing the door being wrenched open, jumped from his perch on the couch and made a beeline for the open bedroom door, which was ajar for emergency's like this. He was halfway across the living room when a hand grabbed the back of his striped shirt and tugged. Hard.

(By this time, Matt had learned that when this happened, all protest was futile- but that didn't stop him from kicking, hitting, and yes, bitting his assailent. Which apparently didn't work, because Mello The Kiddnapper just snorted.)

In the kitchen, Mello forced Matt onto a chair and, after brandishing a roll of duct tape, proceeded to bind him in place.

"Now," Mello surrounded with the air not unlike a child who managed to solve a praticularly difficult math problem by himself, "are you going to answer my questions or not?"

Something in Mello's voice made Matt stop struggling. It wasn't the complete determination, but it was the hollowness under that.

Matt wondered, for the first time, how lonely Mello had been without him. To be honet, Matt had been preoccupied with beating himself up (for The Kiss- he had been caught up in the moment, and it just seemed like the right thing to do! And although it wasn't like Mello knew about it, Matt really didn't think he could look at Mello's lips the same way again, no matter how cliche he told himself that was), and trying to figure out what he should do next.

Matt figured he could do several things- tell Mello what had happened (like he would do that! Mello would probably freak out and kick Matt out onto the LA streets- a place that Matt was _not_ going to go. Have you seen the winged-and non-winged- vermin that hangs out around there?), chalk it up to cigarrete withdrawl (was there such a thing? Matt didn't know, and really didn't want to find out what it was called, much less how it felt), or just up and leave Mello one day without anything to go by- no note, no phone number, no cash.

And since Matt was being strangely honest with himself lately, he had to admit that the third option had been tempting him more than usual lately. Because sometime, Matt had to awknowledge the little embers in his chest, still smoldering slightly with something akin to unfanned fury towards Mello for leaving him at Wammy's- no note, no phone number, and no cash- and it may as well be now.

All of this flashed by in an instant as Matt shook his head in response to Mello's meant-to-be-retorical question.

(At least this time he didn't have duct tape on his mouth. That was not fun getting off.)

Mello just gaped at him for a few seconds. Until he re-found his witts and started shrieking.

(Again. Mello probably will have a hoarse throat by the end of this, and Matt will surely have another headache.)

To sum up the next five minutes, Mello went on and on about what a smart-ass Matt was, and how if he wasn't going to answer his questions he'd get one of his many guns, while Matt basically just sat there and smiled and nodded, which seemed to set him off even more.

(At Wammy's House, that's all Matt did, smile and nod. It worked wonders to creep Roger out. But now that he thought about it, it was frightening to find similarities between Roger and Mello- in adition, Matt realized that he annoyed them both, and were both incredibly paranoid.)

As Matt closed his eyes (he didn't think he could look at any more of Mello's latest installment of his fit, the flapping in adition to the screaming, and not laugh, which would make things 10 times worse), he let out another sigh. Honestly, no matter how cute Mello was when he was enraged, he wore Matt out..

Mello stopped his bird imitation and considered his friend in front of him. He would never admit it, but if Matt hadn't started avoiding him, Mello would've probably re-located himself for awhile.

Let's face it, Mello didn't think he could look at either Near or Matt the same way again-too many fanfictions, too much doujinshi (Mello had no tolerence for any of it!). And when Matt streched out on the couch, or took off his goggles, or bit his lip, it drove Mello _insane_.

Because even the littlest thing could remind him of a fangirls comments (Mello couldn't get him out of his head! Mello admired Matt's hot bod~! *squee!*). They had tainted him!

(And Mello scared himself when he had to admit that the fangirls were right: he couldn't get him out of his head, but not for the reasons one would exspect... And Matt did have a nice body...And Mello found himself staring at Matt's lips. They were quite pretty.)

Mello had asked himself the question many times, and it seemed to come back to him now. _Where would he be without Matt?_ And it didn't suprise him that the insistant answer was _nowhere._

It wasn't the hacking, it wasn't the cleaning, cooking, shopping, and chores. It was the light-hearted company, the gentle insistance that he stay out of fights. It was the tradition of cleaning Mello up whenever he came home with bloody gashes, from fights in the alleyway while he defended the weak, or even a papercut.

Maybe Matt noticed the staring, or realized that Mello had stopped flapping-and-cawing, but he opened his eyes, which were unprotected by his goggles (for once).

Both pairs of orbs caught and held, in such a cliche and heated way it made Mello want to go back to his yoga studio, kicking and screaming and resisting the _gentleness_ all the way.

Mello's heart seemed to want to beat extra fast, or at the very least choke him.

From the way Matt's eyes were growing larger, the feeling was mutual.

He decided to ignore I'magay, as he had been during both of his emotional revelations, decided to ignore the anxiety that tore at him inside-out.

What he also decided to do was to lean down and kiss him.

(It wasn't like it was a romantic kiss or anything, it was more of a thank-you. Or at least, that's what Mello tried to tell himself.)

It wasn't a kiss you'd expect Mello to give anyone: it wan't angry or firey or any other Mello-ish adjective. It was a Matt-like kiss- gentle.

Although it did have the power to make Mello's knees weak. He hadn't thought that Matt might be so...intoxicating.

When they _finally _broke apart (you don't wanna know what they did with their _tounges_, do you? Thought not!), all that was reflected in Matt's eyes was confusion-after all, he hadn't been present for Mello's monolouge. Fighting down the awkwardness that threatened to move Mello's legs as fast as possible in the general direction of the door, he grabbed a random pair of shears and began hacking away at the duct tape, determind not to look Matt in the face. What would he do? How would he explain himself?

_Good going, Mello-yello. Smoooooth..._ I'magay so eloquently voiced his thoughts.

_Exactly what I was thinking!_ Mello thought grimly in response, and I'magay's startled split-second of silence told Mello that he hadn't been expecting that.

_So, whatcha gonna do? Jump him?_ I'magay suggested, a mischeivious undertone to his smooth voice.

_No, but I will if it gets a confession out of him! _Mello thought brightly, and I'magay was rendered speechless (for once).

He looked up as Matt's body began to shake. He opened his mouth to say something like "I didn't mean it!" when he realized that Matt was laughing, silently, like he had when he had found the first fanfiction, the start of it all.

He stared at him in a silence unlike I'magay's, and Matt, fit subsiding, said, with relief evident in his voice, "So, does this make us even?"

"What?" Mello asked, now confused, alarmed, and happy to shove The Kiss from his brain.

"Well..." Matt began, standing up and stretching, "it all started when you passed out..."

And they talked late into the night. It didn't take a Wammy kid to figure it out- they were back.

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><p><strong>AN: And...That was really long..! Hope you enjoyed! <strong>


	10. Notice! The Second

**AN: By the way, my friend inspired the "flapping" and "memory of a goldfish" lines in the last chapter, so I owe her credit. That's you, ChibiChocolate1313... Speaking of owing people credit, thank you to KoPandaXXX for reviewing (I've been feeling that I need more MxN, too- working on it, slowly...)! And thank you both to KoPandaXXX and BloodiedTears35 for the nice private messages. You guys are awesome.**

**Typed up this chapter in less than an hour, so...It's basically me explaining things in a creative manner.**

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><p>Mello stared at the computer in horror, before he jumped up and raced to the door, nodding frantically for Matt to read what was on the screen. He pounded up the three steep flights of stairs, before reaching the floor his destination was on. Once he arrived at his neighbors door, he caught his breath and barged in without knocking.<p>

The girl on the couch looked up, sighing, as she typed away furiously at a document on her Acer laptop (or as furious as her bandaged- to much guitar practice- would allow). Mello just stared at her with round eyes in disbelief and contempt.

"And how many times have I told you to knock?" She asked, breaking the awkward silence, before pushing her thin-framed glasses higher up on the bridge of her nose, at the same time shaking her head so her waist-length brown hair from her face. It defiently flipped back over her right eye, and she huffed in exasperation.

Mello strode across the room, ignoring her pointed glare. He had a much more lethal one of his own- pupils dialated, blazing, face hardened, and scar shining in the lamplight.

"Would you explain why you said that that _monstrosity_ you sent me will be the last chapter?" He shouted at her, voice cracking. He cleared his throat impatiently and waited, still panting slightly from his wild tearing-up of three flights of stairs.

"Hey, watch what you're calling a monstrosity! I'm the one who agreed to this, y'know!" She countered, at equal volume.

"But it was horrible! You had me take up _knitting_, and end up in Siberia! Alone! And here I thought you agreed to document me in a flattering, true account" He cried, flinging himself into his not-so uncommen dramatics, and down onto her worn couch.

"Okay, first of all, it was going to be edited to death anyways, so why not have fun? And second, what's wrong with knitting?" She gestured to her free-formed tank top and continued.

"And lastly, that isn't going to be the last chapter. This i-"

Mello shot up and cut her off with a moan.

"_This_ is the last chapter? This piece of-"

"For a while." She tacked on, and as he began tapping his foot, she elaborated.

"It's just...I can't work on this typing, posting, trying to think up another, equally awesome idea, then typing it up, et cetera, et cetera," she said heatedly, waving a hand at her TV," And look! I haven't watched two weeks worth of _The Big Bang Theory._ I'm desperate."

Mello looked at her in despair, an exasperated tone hidden by false tears.

"But K-"

He broke off by her jabbing a metal needle in his direction, as she tried to conceal her real name.

"-Edge, you have Fans! People wait for these chapters! You'll have a riot on you hands!"

She rolled her slightly bloodshot eyes, proof that she hadn't slept well for several days, as if to say, _I seriously doubt that._

"I'm not stopping forever, just for enough time to get all of my make-up work done, and the other chapters typed up. It'll be rapid-fire posting after I get the results of your love-life, and bend them to make them more interesting."

Mello threw his head skyward and let out another groan.

"But that could take _years_! I don't even know about half the stuff you put in there."

"A, the way you move on and make up your mind? It'll take a matter of weeks. B, I love fanfiction; it's been an amazing experiance so far. But with two accounts to keep up with, and PMs to answer, homework to blaze through, a social life- no matter how miniscule- family stuff to mope over, and concerts every couple days, I can't keep up. Just let me get my situation all worked out, and then I'll be back to regular updates. 'Promise."

Mello closed his eyes and got up.

"Your karma will kill you, I hope you know that. And your reasons aren't very good...How big is your circle of friends, anyways? What's with the two accounts? And how horrible can family issues be, anyways?"

She sighed again, firmly tucking her hair behind her ear, where it hooked and stayed there.

"Maybe my circle of friends isn't that big, but we have drama, big time. I have to do damage control every day- and you do NOT want to know about the issues. They are big. And kinda permanent. My other account is kinda embarrasing. So I'm doing mantinence. But I'll be back soon, and I _will_ work hard while I'm away..."

She trailed off, as he crossed to the door in an angry sort of final defeat.

"Matt's gonna be here, too, y'know. And I hope he annoys you to death."

She gave him a faint smile as she turned back to her laptop, which was resting on a pillow, which was, in turn, resting on her criss-crossed legs.

"But then, the Fans will never know how it ends..."

He grunted in surrender, and with a suprisingly amiable salute, he exited, clambered down the stairs, and was gone.

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><p><strong>Okay, just this once, I'm giving you people a chance to flame me. Because I'm suddenly freezing right now. I think my karma's decided to work fast, all of a sudden...<strong>

**But in any case, reviews are food. Feed my kitty BB-chan. **

**And you can PM me for any info you want, a personal expalanation, etc. **

**If you guilt me right, I might give up my real name...Doubtful, but I'm pulling out all of the stops.**

**I'll be back, I promise! See you all soon.**


	11. And So It Begins

**So...Finally...I sat down...And wrote this! I've been telling myself to get moving, but it was sooo awesome to just not have to worry about updating that I slacked off...Majorly... So I need you guys to keep me in line...**

**I know. I promised I wouldn't update until I was done. But I have zero-willpower, and I love you guys too much. So we're back to square one. Oops... But, thankfully, I have chapter 12 almost in the first-draft phase! (Gets shot.)**

**This chapter is dedicated to: KoPandaXXX (for the awesome review/private messages), lolgreeness (for the epic review), and chibichocolate1313 (who's a great friend of mine with a wicked sense of humor. Plus, she corrected my already-posted spelling-despite my eye-rolls- and favorited me. Now I know how to spell "humor!" Check out her epic story, "Chocolate Heart.")!**

**So, anyway, here we are... Miss me? ...Will somebody please excuse that cricket in the audience, please...?**

**Without even **_**more**_** delay, here it is! Chapter 11!**

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><p>April 29, 2013<p>

Some Ungodly Hour No one should be Up at on the Weekends a.m.

Los Angeles, CA

_Mello..._

Mello rolled over in his now disrupted sleep, still muttering something about mouse traps.

_Mello?_

He slapped his pillow over his head.

_Mello. Hey, hey Mello._

His comforter joined the pillow, ensuring nothing of Mello could be seen except a few strands of his blonde hair, which shone against the white of the sheets.

_Mello!_

The muttering started again, this time about collapsing bleachers and ways to blast his head open.

_Mello! The house is on fire!_

This only earned a annoying whining of a head companion stopped, and seemed to draw an exasperated breath.

_Mello, if you don't get up this second, I'm going to destroy all of your chocolate!_

Mello shot out of bed, groping for his bed-side gun. Stumbling forward to ward off his soon-to-be chocolate thief, he forgot to look down.

This, as usual and of course, caused him to trip.

As Mello went down, he heard the snickering. In his rapidly-awakening state, rage at his strange, twisted concience hadn't started yet, but he was getting there.

_Crash!_

_Thump._

Mello landed. On something warm, and soft. And here Mello thought he had wood floors...

"SON OF A DUCK!"

Nope, just Matt.

Sitting up, Matt dislodged Mello and rubbed his abdomen, where Mello had landed. Mello leaped up nimbly and rubbed his head, where he had hit it on his metal bed-frame.

There was a few minutes silence as Matt started being able to form coherent thought, and glared as Mello. When he re-gained his bearings, he cleared his throat.

"...Good morning..?" Matt said pointedly, voice still having that just-rudely-awoken slurr, and Mello grinned sheepishly.

"...'Son of a duck'?"

Matt nodded. "Touche."

Matt untangled his legs, and stretched his gangly limbs, yawning. Mello threw a half-hearted "sorry," over his shoulder before retireving a pair of random leather pants, boots, and a vest, then swong into the bathroom. He heard Matt's shuffle approach the door, loudly muttering something that sounded something suspiciously like "for someone who looks anorexic, the chocolate takes it's toll..."

Mello snorted and swung it open again, causing Matt to hit his head. Then he slammed it shut before Matt could retaliate.

(When you're in the Mafia, you learn these tactics early. Being a Wammy kid helps prepare you, especially if you liked to annoy Roger in the early hours of morning.)

He ignored the string of baritone curses and started finger-combing his hair. He decided to ignore the dark cicles under his eyes, which refused to go away ever since _he_ had refused to go back to the now-not-so-new Task Force. Mello claimed to be too infuriated by Near, but Matt claimed Mello was either having too much fun skipping out, or that he was too scared to go back and have to apologize to Near. Both these theories earned Matt a sharp rap on the head, although that was as good as a confirmation. They both knew the second was true.

'So, I'magay, WHY did you decide to wake me up?'. Mello seethed, trying to get his brain away from the twisted subject of Near.

_I was hungry._

'And what am I supposed to do about that?'

_You can eat. You're my host, so if you eat, it's like I'm eating. That's why I'm happy you bathe so much. I feel clean. You stub your toe, I stub my mental toe. You feel turned o-_

'Okay, I get it! And tough luck, I'm not hungry,' Mello answered back in his head, swiftly.

_Yes, you are._ I'magay explained patiently, if not arrogantly. _Why do you think __**I'm**__ hungry?_

Mello had no answer for that. But he came up with more questions- 'So, why didn't my hangover effect you? I thought you said alchohol didn't effect you? What do you mean by host? And where did you come from, anyway?'

I'magay's cold snicker filled his brain. _Just because it effected me didn't mean I have no tolerance. Plus, I just wanted to make sure you knew the consequences of drinking well over your suggested limit. If you drink too much at one time, you're gonna die, you know that, right?And the other questions are a little too complicated for your squid-sized brain._

Mello resisted the urge to bang his head against the wall. Again.'Will you ever go away?'

_Well, Barney did, so what d'you think? _Mello remained silent, although his lips pulled back and he snarled slightly. Barney had been a special case- and he was six!

_All I have to do is fulfill my part of the deal, and then you'll never hear from me again. I hope. Your comany is far from desirable, believe me. And you have some really messed up thoughts, you know that?_

'What's the deal?' Mello thought hopefully, a little too quickly. All irritation was replaced by curiosity- he recognized that phrase.

_Well, I'd be violating the rules if I told you..._

Mello's eyes narrowed as I'magay reverted back to muttering pointedly about how hungry he was. Stretching quietly, he resigned himself to the fact that that was all he was getting out of I'magay for the time being- and, besides, it was funner to figure it all out on his own- detective's nature, right?

He unlocked the bathroom, and padded towards the kitchen. He could already smell the bacon- after the release of pent-up (sexual) tension, Matt had resumed his usual house-keeping duties, to the relief of Mello.

(He really didn't want to have to go through only eating chocolate, because no matter how good it was, Mello was anything but monotonous. And that commercialized, chocolate-only diet certainly was.)

Yawning, he slid himself up onto one of their bar seats, and leaned on his elbows, head in his hands. One look at the clock from in-between fingers meant he knew he should get (and suck) it up and go, but he couldn't do it. He had been having the same problem for the past...Over a month.

Because, damn, deciding to work at McDonalds several weeks ago was _depressing._ God knows what possesed him to get a job again- Near had made it quite clear that he was fine with Mello leaving, and never coming back.

Or so his lack of responses did. Mello inferred what he could from the not altogether uncharacteristic silence.

What was he doing with his life?

(For exapmles of his meaninglessness, the biggest moment of April was when he got the honor of serving the Customer of the Month a McFlurry. What was even sadder is that the other emplyees just looked at him with insane smiles, and dull eyes. As they converged upon him with out-streched arms, lank, greasy hair, and cries of "congratulations..." Mello had fled, fearing the zombie apocalypse.)

Matt chanced a worried look at his friend, worry mainly caused because of his moaning. Fabulous. This was going to be one of _those_ mornings.

(And by one of _those_ mornings, he meant one of the Mello-was-depressed-and-this-resulted-in-throwing-random-flamable-things-at-Matt-while-he-was-smoking-before-it-all-broke-down-into-slight-weeping-and-holding-onto-Matt's-legs-whining-about-how-he-didn't-_want_-to-go-to-his-shift-that-started-in-the-half-hour-he-had-to-get-to-Pasadena mornings. They weren't fun. )

Knowing by now how to stop danger when he recognized the signs, Matt decided to take action. He slammed down the plate of bacon and eggs in front of Mello, eaking no response. Well, drat. He tried the next step in getting Mello's attention drawn from his now-mental cornor of emo-ness. Which was patting him on the head with the scalding hot frying pan. This only got him an irritated sound and a swat, which Matt decided to take as good progress. And while that was all well and good, he knew that if threatening to fry his hair wasn't enough to distract his friend, almost nothing would be.

He tried the noogie. The poking. The threat of licking. The tickling. The repeated "Mello. Mello. Mello. Mello. Mello. Mello. Mello. Mello. Mello. Mello. Mello. Mello. Mello. Mello." The chocolate burning.

And the clock slowly drew closer to 9:00.

Exhausted, Matt slumped onto the seat beside Mello, not bothering to change out of his clown outfit (a sad attempt to scare Mello out of depression. A last ditch attempt. Don't ask why he had the suit in the first place. Matt's not taking questions today). Hestantly, he stretched out a hand to stroke Mello's hair.

The chick-flick moments would probably do it, right?

"Mello, I know you're...upset, but you have to go to work. Our landlord is about to kick us out. If you hate the fry machine that much, why don't you just ask Near if you can come back?"

Mello's head shot up, and Matt gulped. He was glaring.

(And so this made it one of the before-the-throwing-and-weeping-it-was-hitting-and-kicking. And-maybe-biting-and-strangling mornings.)

"Because, Matt, I'm not desperate! Maybe I don't wanna go back, did you ever think of that?"

Matt suck in a deep breath, before releasing it. After all he had done, Mello had the idiocy to snap at him?

Well, guess what, Mello. You're not the only one who's snapped.

Matt exhaled, and took out a phone.

"That's it. If you're not going to do it, than I will."

Mello stared at the hardness in Matt's voice, and seemed truely curious when he asked, "Do what?"

Matt, even though he was intensly annoyed with Mello, didn't look up at him when he said curtly, "Calling the SPK."

"...!"

Mello gaped at him. Matt braced for impact.

Matt had never ignored his demands. Mello had never seen him snap.

Matt pressed on a button and the other line's rings filled the room. It was enough to get Mello to collect himself. Matt was still steely-eyed and tense.

Finally, an voice replaced the monotonous ringing.

"...Hello?"

Matt gestured at Mello to speak, and Mello threw his arms open and mouthed profanities at Matt. Who stuck out his tounge, and got The Finger.

"...May I as who is calling?"

Matt sucked in a thin breath, and Mello froze.

The voice was unquestionably Near's. Even so, it shouldn't have been. Instead of emotionless, it nihilistic, apathic; and under that was pain.

And even Mello could detect the anger that lurked in the space where a mischevious delight had been.

What had he done?

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><p><strong>AN: Review if you want to spurr me on! Because I'm feeling slightly inspired, so take advantage of that! You know you want too...<strong>


	12. Rainbows, Revelations, and McFries

**A/N I know. I'm not dead. Yet. I'm so sorry! ;_;**** You guess are amazing as always, and I repay you with the longest hiatus ever…**

**(I've had family issues, tests, more tests, test prep, concerts, then there's my new obsession with Code Geass, and on top of it all my Shiki DVD came in from Malasia, so I can FINALLY watch the anime and compare it to the manga. Yes, it's hard being me...XD)**

**Thank you to lolgreeness ****, KoMonkeyXXX, ****and Painlasts4ever. And thank you again to chibichocolate1313 for the anonymous review! You guys are awesome!**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN DEATH NOTE, MCDONALDS, OR GODIVA. Oh, and ****Peter doesn't belong to me, he belongs to chibichocolate1313.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Mello stared at the phone. Matt stared at Mello. Near spoke again.<p>

"I am sorry, but I think you have the wrong number."

_Click._

Mello shook his head to clear it. What had happened?

"Matt," he said, hating the quiver in his usually solid voice, "what...did I do to him?"

Matt jolted out of his stupor, and questioned Mello.

"What exactly did you say to Near?"

"Just that..." Mello stopped, then remembered.

_Mello stopped his pacing (and shudde__ring) and said, with an almost invisible trace of uncertainty under his furious tone that Near couldn't catch, "There isn't one. I just..."_

_His voice grew so certain his words could have been stones raining down on the unfortunate as he __finished__, drawing a __breath._

_"...Despise you, that's all."_

_Resisting the urge to run as fast as he possibly could, he forced himself to walk slowly and __resolutely__ in the general direction of the door. As he turned the doorknob and strode away, he could have sworn he heard a sig__h that sounded all too much like a sob._

"...I only said I hated him. But I say that all of the time! Or, I did! We were enemies! He was the stuck-up albino, I was the rash, violent, awesome guy! It shouldn't have affected him!"

Matt sighed. Mello was simply too naive to the affect he had on everyone- or, at least, everyone who really knew him.

"Call him on your phone. He'll recognize the number."

Mello rolled his eyes. Obviously, Matt had no idea that there was no way Near would possibly pick up.

...But maybe, this time... If he really thought Mello meant it...

_This time, he will pick up. It's just your __decision__ to call him. But, through it all,,_ I'magay said, choosing a crucial moment to impart his fortune-cookie wisdom, _just follow your heart._

'...Do you even KNOW how cliché that is?' Mello shrieked at him, train of thought broken.

_Hey, don't look at me, I'm just passing the message on. Paraphrasing._

'Paraphrasing who?'

_...The Beatles...?_

'I'm pretty sure the Beatles didn't have a song like that.'

Matt was apparently tired of his spacey silence, so he just sighed as he got up and left the room.

"Fine, Mello, do what you want."

Mello just nodded, still unable to tear his gaze from the silent phone.

'Please,' Mello thought, only to himself- he just needed this one moment to clear his head. Surely, I'magay, as insensitive and idiotic as he was, could understand that. 'Please, just don't let me humiliate myself.'

I'magay snorted derisively in the background, but quieted.

Mello glanced at the clock, and jumped up, shouting in alarm. Racing to the door, he threw out a "see you!" then snapped the door open and jumped down the stairs. Sprinting to the end of the block, he just managed to board the bus- and he was ready to face another day at his personal hell.

* * *

><p>"Hi, Melanie! You made it in t-t-t-t-time!"<p>

Mello was momentarily distracted by his coworker's greeting. He waved unenthusiastically in the vauge direction of the cash register. The blonde, short man returned the movement too happily, knocking down a pile of fliers on, ironically enough, psychiatric help. Mello snorted.

Peter had first seemed like the most likeable person working in that ghastly hell-hole... Until he had mistaken Mello for a girl, despite Mello's many violent counters, and now took to calling him Melanie. He was constantly stuttering, though he had said that he liked "her" fire, and now was giving him flowers. And inappropriate items.

(Mello was fine with those, he donated them to Goodwill just to see the scandalized look on the managers face when she saw what was inside the expensive bag.)

Idiot. He should know by now that Mello liked Godiva truffles better.

Peter chose this moment to lean closer and whisper, "Remember, live b-b-by the Rainbow order. Red-yellow-orange-green-blue-purple!"

Mello looked on, unimpressed, as Peter gasped and smacked himself, muttering, "Indigo! Indigo, not purple!"

Shuffling to the back room, Mello selected the most appealing, clean-looking apron, and slipped it on over his leather. Tearing the plastic gloves from their bag with his fingernails, he grimaced- because he might as well enjoy one last peek into humanity-before plastering on his customer-welcoming (aka the I-will-murder-you-with-a-butter-knife-and-enjoy-it) smile.

He retraced his steps back to the cashier, who willingly stepped aside to let "his Melanie" take over. Skipping nervously (if that was possible, Peter did it) back to the fry machine, Peter whistled the electric slide song, leaving Mello wondering exactly what the guy was on.

Whatever it was, he wanted some.

Mello never looked at his customers. Or, at least, he never made eye-contact with them. He always looked at their hands, or at his hands, or out the window. His current customer, however... Was an exception.

Maybe it was the hair that he caught a glimpse of- it was tucked in a haphazard bun, bound with a crossed pen and a twig, and it was every unnatural color of the rainbow. Or maybe it was her clothes- they were wrinkled and looked unwashed, and they, too, clashed impressively- she had on a pair of incredibly long blue jeans that dangled under her patched, stained, and frayed kimono. Around her neck swung a dozen loose, obviously fake, dogtags, the tarnish on which looked odd against the gleaming silver of the chain.

She had an entourage of two that towered over her- she was in the general "short" category. Her face had a tired look about it- there were bags under her brown eyes, and spots on her face. Despite these oddities, she had a slim frame, and delicate features that held a young air.

Mello didn't know what he had been expecting. Maybe, for once, after the Near fiasco, he could have a, I don't know, normal day? Without running into someone who annoyed him to no end?

No. No, of course not.

With another start, he realized his newest nightmare was accompanied by Rester and Lidner.

There was one thing to do, really. Mello dove under the counter with an undignified squeak. Luckily, the woman and her two... Admirers? Friends? Latest victims? Didn't notice him, and simply looked around stupidly when they got to the cash register.

"Um..." Rester of them said, and shrugged his burly shoulders. Halle snapped her gum, but the oddity just giggled and leaned over the counter. Mello, seeing this, sprang up to look as if he had only been scrubbing at a stain.

"Mello! There you are, we've been looking all over for you!" She laughed again as she said this, looking at her two companions, but Rester just stood still and stared at the wall, and Halle was too busy giving Mello creepy stares to notice she had said anything at all.

Mello didn't even try to pretend to be a normal McDonalds employee that had no idea who this "Mello" was, and glared at her, ignoring the angry throngs gathering behind the girl whose order had not yet been taken.

"Linda. What are you doing here?"

**(A/N: For those of you who don't know, Linda is a Wammy kid who is briefly mentioned in the Death Note manga- she drew portraits of Mello and Near and gave them to the Task Force.)**

"Getting a McNugget fix, silly!" Linda said, and poked him obnoxiously. Mello slid backwards, out of her range- when she wanted to, the fourteenth best Wammy's kid could dent your skin down to the bone.

"No, really?" Mello replied, sarcasm peppering his irritated tone. "I mean, who sent you to do whatever you are going to do here? Because I know you. You do think McDonalds sells people kangaroo."

Linda sighed, and tucked an escaped, pink strand of hair behind her ear, knowing it was best not to argue. "Alright, you caught me. Actually, it's Near that wants the McNuggets. With a McFlurry and a small side of McFries."

"They're just _fries, _Linda. Not _Mc_Fries."

Linda glared at him. Mello glared back.

"What does Near want?"

"I told you! McNuggets and a-"

Mello slapped his hand on the counter. "I know already! Peter!"- Peter jumped and looked around, then began pumping out grease as fast as possible- "But what does Near want with _me?_"

Linda giggled again. "He just wants to make sure you're alright! You haven't spoken to him in a while now, so when you called him so suddenly and didn't say anything-" Mello swore under his breath- of course, Near would know his landline, little stalker- "he got worried!"

Mello was about to glare at Linda again... But a thought occurred to him. (And no, it probably had nothing to do with the kiss Lidner had just blown him, although it made him feel slightly ill- ?)

"Linda, how did you know about this whole thing, anyway? I thought you were in Paris studying art, on a Wammy sponsored trip?"

Linda's smile faded slightly.

"Yeah," she said, hesitantly, "well, Paris didn't really... work out."

Mello cocked his head to the right, grinning. "Oh, yeah? And why exactly not?"

Linda gave him look that said, 'shut up,' but at his expectant silence, she burst out, "Look, it was only one room! I didn't think turpentine was that flammable!"

Mello snorted, then sobered himself as he repeated his question.

"Well... Near needed another hand on deck, so... Um... He called me a couple months ago. To help out with the new Task Force, until I got another job..."

Linda looked at him hesitantly, fearfully, apologetically. Mello understood in an instant.

Near had replaced him like it caused him no pain at all.

Peter completely killed his moment, of course, by choosing to traipse up to the counter and deposited Linda's/Near's order on the counter. Rester retrieved it with a grunt, taking in the sight of Peter smacking himself again, saying "I forgot violet! Violet!"

When Rester looked at him with small interest, he hastened to explain about the Masters Crayola and the utter importance of the Rainbow Order. Mello, however, was too busy watching Linda to rebuke his loose-cannon ball of a coworker.

Linda looked up from her (apparently very interesting) hands to gesture to the door. A sleek black limo slid around the corner, and the doors opened smoothly, sinisterly. It reeked of the old SPK's style.

"But, to the point. Near was worried about you, so... He wants to see you."

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><p><strong>Sorry for the short chapter! I'll be able to update much more regularly in a few weeks, when school is out.<strong>

**Anyway, revi****ew!**


	13. TicTock

**A/N: Thank you, KoMonkeyXXX, for the review(s)! You have her (/him?) to thank for this chapter, so it's dedicated to her (once again, /him)! And BlueKitty8- I hope I've cleared everything up for you. **

**I WILL LOOSE A LOT OF READERS THIS CHAPTER. JUST KNOW THAT I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING, AND I PLANNED TO DO THIS FROM THE START. I'LL EXPLAIN IT AT THE END OF THE CHAPTER, BUT FOR NOW…** **Just hold on for your life, because all I can say is "Mello… We're not in crack land anymore…"**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated Death Note, or McDonalds. (Contrary to what popular belief, exactly?) And the line I use about country music does NOT belong to me (nor does the music, whose artists I don't intend to bash, belong to their respective owners), it belongs to a brilliant blogger on the My Chemical Romance site, Grace, or who/whatever she got it from. I also don't own Benedict Cumberbatch.**

Mello glanced towards the front seat of his melodramatic (not to be punny), obviously expensive ride to glare at Linda, who turned and smiled blithely at him. He verged on hissingat her, but settled on sticking his tongue out immaturely at her. Rester (the designated driver) kept his eyes on the road (thankfully), and Lidner flipped through her magazine, bored with the whole situation.

"Hey, Mello, did you know? I draw doujinshi's, too!" She smirked, as if hinting at something from the sidelines.

Mello glanced sideways at her, puzzled. "And why would I care?" He said snidely, and Linda giggled.

"I'm also a yaoi fan!"

Mello froze.

"Although I give Near credit for all my work, because he gives me inspiration and poses sometimes…" She looked out the window, dreamily, "That's why none of them have been hard- I wish! - and also why he calls my work his own, as well. I don't mind, though…" She sighed, and Mello felt as though something had just been revealed, though he couldn't capture exactly what.

Silence fell in the car again, but it was a heavier silence.

This continued for over fifteen minutes; the only interruption was the brief period during which Rester flipped to a country station. This ended a few minutes later, when Mello decided he couldn't take the warbling, "tequila makes her clothes fall off "and the wailing, "I can't breathe without you, but I have to," any longer, and rendered what he dubbed, "farm emo," to silence.

At long last, they reached the SPK.

Mello felt ridiculously nervous as soon as he saw the building- what did Near want with him?

_Probably to lock you__ up in a torture chamber and beat you for your insolence_, I'magay supplied helpfully. Mello didn't honor the quip with a reply.

He clambered out of the car, and then spun around as he heard it slowly pull away from the curb. From behind the tinted windows, he could see the vague outline of Linda waving at him- adding insult to injury. He was about to make a scene, but digressed- after all, what was he really expecting? A wingman? He snorted.

Gathering some bravado, he began his assent into his old headquarters.

_Yes, Mello,_ I'magay interrupted his false-confident strut, _because a little dramatics never hurt anyone. Well, maybe Mikami, but he was a special case… Him and his coloring books._

Mello's smile seared across his face.

Before he tripped and fell the rest of his way down the stairs.

He at last reached the door- painted white, chipping (actually steal, reinforced twice), looking as much the "janitor's broom room" (printed on it in prim, black letters, with "of doom and destruction" scrawled in red marker underneath, which was in actuality was acid that would burn whoever brushed across it) that it wasn't.

Mello knew perfectly well that it would look small to an outsider, but he also knew that it was, in actuality, the whole basement floor of the shopping center it was under- with many entrances in and out (several of them involving sewers, crowbars, and hard-to-duplicate melodies), several office rooms for those employed seeking mere paperwork, rooms for permanent spies, and interrogation rooms, for tricky questions that could not be said in front of the police, or ones that the true investigation team (the SPK was now very rarely employed; it just nosed in places it didn't belong) wouldn't even think of.

He straightened his various leather garments (to be burned and replaced as soon as he could- they _had_ touched the ground, after all), and grasped the doorknob (that looked quite loose and wooden, but was actually high-class steal with a camera at the heart of it all, rimmed with tiny stun darts to be fired- frighteningly enough- at Near's command).

He twisted it left, then one hundred and eighty degrees to the right, down, and then swung the door open, tensing himself slightly.

Silence and blackness greeted him; he could vaguely make out the shape of Near in the darkness. The monitor screens were, for once, dark.

He decided not to break the silence, let it reign on for a few moments. He had nothing left to say to Near and, after all, it was Near who had called him here. He would just wait for the stupid albino twat to say something first!

This resolve was shaken, however, when the darkness was the only thing that moved for what felt like hours. Mello checked his watch- it had only been a minute and a half since he had walked in.

_You're starting__ to over-analyze…._ I'magay warned, and Mello snorted derisively- in his head, of course.

'I'm not, I'm just thinking- what was the point of snatching me from my shift- and I'm three slipped Sprites past a French fry to getting fired, anyway- after I make it clear I'm done with him? And why is he just sitting there! I mean, he usually just sits there like a bump on a log, but I've came here all the way from Pasadena, the least he could give me is some sort of lion-circling technique!'

_O~ver~ Analyzing~! _I'magay sang, and Mello clamped his thoughts down like iron.

They stood (or, in Near's case, sat) in silence for a few more minutes.

Mello was debating the merits versus the consequences of pulling a Matt and doing a spontaneous tap-dance, when he heard a noise that made him reconsider.

It sounded like light… Snoring?

Mello stared, open-mouthed, at the figure of Near, and saw for the first time that his head seemed to be lolled back somewhat, and that his breathing was shallow, but regular and calm. His white, long hands were slack on his robot. Near was, with no doubt left in Mello's mind, asleep.

He and the voice in his head considered Near for a period of shocked silence.

_Fail!_ I'magay snickered, and Mello ignored him.

(He was getting better at that- employing classic maneuvers that Near sometimes used on him in their Wammy Days. The "You-Do-Not-Exist" ploy, the "Don't-Pay-Attention-to-the-Flea" tactic, and the simple or the _ _mantras.)

He crossed the room in several quick strides, and wasted no time shaking the cotton-clad shoulder unceremoniously, jumping back as soon as those thin eyelids began to flutter- he remembered waking Near up on Christmas, only to get a foot-in-the-face. He had no idea whose brilliant idea it had been to teach the kid self-defense, but he _really_ didn't want another taste of it any time soon.

"…Mello…?" Near managed, blinking up at him and looking every inch the innocent, fluffy sheep people expect him to be (until he opens his mouth and does a tangent on string theory).

"Yeah, Sunshine, it's time to wake up. Whaddya want?"

Near wiped away a strand of drool, and shifted to a more comfortable position on the floor. "Sit down," he said formally, gesturing at one of the spinney chairs, but Mello snorted and plopped himself down onto the floor, across from Near.

"So," Mello stated, and Near sighed, a hand that looked almost subconscious drifting up to tangle itself in his self-made curls.

"Mello, I've dragged you out of work because I want to clarify things. The first, is what I meant by asking you 'are you attracted to me,' because we'll get nowhere on the second matter if you don't feel comfortable enough around me to tell the absolute truth."

Mello's mouth went dry. He really didn't want another confrontation- all he was expecting was for Near to give him back his secret chocolate stash that's under his now-vacant desk, and kick him out for good.

"Look, Near," he interjected, then stopped.

Near held up a hand. "I did not mean to imply that _I _was attracted to _you_, or that I suspected vice-versa. I was simply meaning to clarify _your _feelings towards me before I tell you something." He crossed his knees, and looked at Mello expectantly.

Mello cleared his throat. "Near, I've always… Respected you. To a point. You were always a goal I had to surpass, and now that we're working together, I've gotten to know you better- but we're still not that close. I mean, you hold everyone at this icy distance…" His voice trailed away.

Near looked saddened. "Is that all? Just a partner in a war for justice?"

Mello didn't know what to say. He could hear I'magay muttering something in a falsetto, then his normal tone. The feminine impression rang a bell in his head, but he couldn't quite remember…

Near took his silence as a conformation. "Well, no matter your opinion of me, I've always thought of you as an elder brother."

Mello felt something click into place- a hidden emotion, a revelation, that left him gasping. "A… A what?"

Near looked at him sharply. "You were always treating me like a bother whenever I played soccer with you, and I was always studying to surpass you so we could work together- what did you except?"

Mello gaped at him. "That's the _only reason _you studied?"

Near reconsidered. "At first, I think, so I have you to thank for my motivation. If I had never tried and, surprisingly, succeeded, I doubt I would have landed or stayed anywhere in the top three, let alone ten. After I did surpass you, I realized it backfired on me, but by that time I realized that I liked being at the top. So, not entirely, but at first."

Mello didn't know whether to be amazed, angry, flattered, or all three. He was still somewhere around shocked. "So, you mean… All this time that I thought you liked me, as, like, a potential girlfriend, you were just thinking of me as a brother? But then, why where you like that on the phone? I thought it was because…"

Near raised an eyebrow, something Mello had never seen him do. It was as if some curtain between them had been torn down… It wasn't a bad feeling. "Unrequited love, really, Mello? No. In case you haven't noticed, I've been getting over a minor cold. I just took some medicine for my sinuses before you came… It seems they put me to sleep."

Mello stared at him again. He didn't think he could ever face his ego again.

"And the second matter…" Near was clearly moving on to another item of business. "It seems we both have Shinigami inside of our head- two walking time bombs."

Mello heard- rather than felt- I'magay freeze. "You mean..."

"Yes," Near said, as matter-of-fact as ever, "You have mass-murderer Light Yagami, also known as Kira, inhabiting your consciousness. And I have Misa Amane, the second Kira. What do you suppose they want?"

Mello looked at him. It wasn't really that much of a shock- who else could have that snide sneer in their _voice_?

Mello shook his head.

"That's the problem," Near said, as grimly as Mello had ever seen him, "I don't know."

**OKAY. All Near/Mello lovers; calm down! I had, in fact, planned this to be a full-blown love triangle fic- but as much as I love NxM, it's really hard for me to write, and I feel like Mello and Matt flow together better in this fanfiction anyway. I know I might get flamed for it, and I'll probably lose a lot of readers, but this is truly the way I want to steer this fic, and nothing said can change that. **

**Now, all I have to do is try and get Mello and Matt together. Those stubborn fools…**

**Review or… Comment!**


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